Tuesday, March 08, 2016

Face It, RNC: Rubio's Not Going to Happen

Just even saying that Marco Rubio is having a bad night doesn't really highlight how bad it is. If I could demonstrate with an animated cartoon of a wily coyote falling fifty-thousand feet off a cliff with an anvil dropped on his head with an ACME nuclear bomb for good measure, that STILL would not convey how bad a night he's having tonight.

There's two key primaries this Tuesday, one in Michigan and one in Mississippi, and while Trump has handily won both - much to Kasich's chagrin over Michigan who was hoping for a lead-in win before trying to secure his home state of Ohio next week - the big news has been how BADLY Rubio is failing in both.

In Mississippi, Rubio is not even breaking the five percent mark, hovering around 4.7 percent. Granted, we're talking about a state so Conservative that even South Carolina makes jokes about them being too Far Right. Still, there should be respect for the "sensible Establishment Republican" that the party leadership in-state would give Rubio more to work with. There is no damn way Rubio can go on camera tonight and claim even a moral victory here. C'mon. KASICH is in Third Place at double Rubio's count at 8 percent, and Kasich is the freaking token MODERATE - comparatively speaking - in this race.

In Michigan, hmm, let's see... Here, Rubio is STILL in Fourth Place behind Trump, Kasich and then Cruz. And whereas the top three are in double-digits, Rubio's becoming the pinata at 9 percent.

I can't even rightly joke about Rubio being the THIRD PLACE guy tonight. That's how bad he's losing.

This is the moment in the Primary cycle where the really delusional candidate - the one who'd been propped up by party and media elites as "Our Guy" and the one who Can Save Us From Trump, and has kept crowing about "winning" when he keeps showing up as a runner-up with too few delegates to show for it - is going to have to face facts.

Right now, Marco Rubio's not winning in Florida where the polling has Trump in the lead by at LEAST 8 points and in most polls by double-digits. All the momentum is for Trump: all the organization as the anti-Trump choice seems to be in Cruz's favor. Kasich isn't long for this campaign either, and he's got a better chance of winning Ohio - which can keep him afloat for one more week - than Rubio has of winning the Sunshine State.

Right now, Rubio's not winning a damn thing. If he thinks he's going to be in any position to force a contested, brokered GOP convention in Cleveland, he's crazier than I am. I know, being from Florida does explain for a lot of the blinkered thinking in the Rubio camp, but at some point sanity has to prevail.

I doubt Rubio will drop this week, although getting out before he can get humiliated in Florida is the smart play. He needs that vindication, something and anything to be able to come back for the next election cycle to say "I almost did it before, and I can do better this time in 2020."

Rubio's got few options left in a political career. Due to the vagaries of state law, Rubio had to drop out of running for re-election as a Senator this year in order to run for President. His disdain for actual service is going to make it hard to run for another elected office, even for the Governor's seat that's opening up in 2018. Being the Mayor of Loserville is going to stink up his vitae. His only option is to pray for a Republican Presidential win - OH GOD NO - and beg for a Cabinet position (and if it's Trump winning - GOD HELP US NO - a lot of begging in front of television cameras will be the thing).

His next career is likely going to a think tank or lobbyist firm to earn a fat paycheck telling billionaire donors all the fantasy stories of what could have been if only Rubio won it all. It's the least those billionaires can do for Rubio, after all...

And so, here's one more screenshot of the Honest Bumper Sticker I've been so proud of making this election year:


Infidel753 said...

I pegged the Rubot as a dead man walking after his altercation with Christie, which unmasked him as basically a tape recorder. Never saw any reason since then to change that judgment.

It serves him right. Remember, he was the one who actually started the Trump-dick-size thing which, so far at least, marks the lowest point in the collapse of the dignity of this political process. If his political career is over, let that be his legacy.

Paul Wartenberg said...

True, Infidel.

I'm looking back at my first impressions of Rubio when he announced last year, and I'm finding that his empty resume and even emptier suit were red flags from the get-go.

dinthebeast said...

On the other hand, if "the government that governs best is the one that governs least", shouldn't he be some kind of hero? His participation in the government he is being paid to serve in can best be described as "minimal"...

-Doug in Oakland

Pinku-Sensei said...

Thanks in advance for that honest bumper sticker. I'll use it when "Little Marco" drops out.

As for Kasich, if he wins Ohio, he'll stick around for longer than a week the same way that he hung on for three weeks based on his second place finish in New Hampshire, then another week based on his second place in Vermont, and another week based on his tying Cruz in delegates in Michigan. I expect he'll have to come in third in Wisconsin in April before he drops out.