I am writing to offer my condolences that NH Senator Judd Gregg has withdrawn his name today for nomination to the post of your Secretary of Commerce.
I am also writing to offer my resume and my name for the post of Secretary of Commerce.
I have many years of experience handling government statistics, patent requests, and census materials as a librarian, so I am well aware of the output that the Commerce Department creates. I also am aware of the department's focus on promoting "job creation and improved living standards for all Americans." As someone currently unemployed, I know all too well the importance of job creation and this nation's need for improved living standards.
I would also like to point out that, unlike your last two attempts at filling the spot of Secretary of Commerce, I am NOT going to bail on you. I'm not going to be the focus of a federal investigation like Mr. Richardson, and I'm not going to renounce your stimulus package as part of a GOP herd mentality like Mr. Gregg. I am going to go full throttle on the nomination process, Mr. President sir, because DAMMIT I need this job dude!
And if you have any concerns about any legal improprieties... I have 3 traffic violations, one for an expired license tag, one for not fully stopping at a stop sign (there was oncoming traffic, the cop was just sitting there waiting for any excuse to issue tickets! Damn quotas!), and one for speeding on Memorial Day last year (okay, I fully own up on that one, caught dead to rights). That's it. Clean as a whistle.
Please contact me at your earliest convenience for my resume, college transcripts, and copy of my self-published collection of short stories (Library of Congress won't take PoDs). Thank you, good day, and God Bless the United States!