Wait, NOW I'm Finding Out My Parents Knew an Astronaut?

On a personal note, I just only found out this Thanksgiving - and then verified during this Christmas - that my dad knew Ken Mattingly back in the 1960s when Mattingly was getting trained to be an Apollo astronaut.

It was just talking about how one of my cousin's daughters was about to graduate from Auburn University - where my mother and half her side of the family went to college - during the turkey dinner that my mom started talking about how Auburn was such a great aerospace school because guys like Mattingly went there. And then she started bringing up how Mattingly showed up at dad's place in Sanford Florida - where dad was stationed at the naval air field - just after he and my mom had gotten married in May 1966. According to the tale, Mattingly was there to invite my dad out for a night drinking, but dad pointed out the new wife and mentioned he married a girl from "a cow college." Mattingly asked which one, found out it was Auburn, and then he stayed the night chatting up my mom about all the people they knew back at school.

War Eagle.

So I'm sitting there at the Thanksgiving dinner table with my jaw hitting the floor yammering "you knew an APOLLO Astronaut?" and my mom was all "oh yeah this was all way before the Apollo 13 incident" - they saw the movie - and then she goes into talking about how that summer Mattingly left his car with my dad while Mattingly left for space training, and that my Aunt Dot - who was 16 at the time - spent all summer driving his car everywhere.

So while I emailed Aunt Dot thanking her for the crazy cat shirts she always sends me for Christmas gifts, I took a moment to ask her "hey did you really drive an astronaut's car everywhere during that summer?"

And Aunt Dot emailed back that yeah it was Mattingly's car - she said it was a Facel Vega - but that she only drove it one time to a picnic event. Also that Mattingly had a pet chihuahua named Fang.

And now here I am scouring the Worldcat catalog for ANY biography book on Mattingly for fact-checking the chihuahua part, and dammit you people never wrote a detailed biography on him.

And it's like, parents, dammit WHY did this never come up before that you guys knew a space astronaut? Astronauts are rare breeds, up there with rock stars and A-list actors, especially the guys from the 1960s space programs that did things like fly to the moon and back again.

All those years of driving to school in Tarpon Springs alongside mom (who taught there), watching the early morning shuttle launches at that intersection of Klosterman and Alt-19, and mom never said a word about knowing one of the shuttle commanders (Mattingly was one of the earliest, flying the Columbia to test its systems).

Also kind of sad to mention Mattingly passed away this last October, so I can't email him and confirm the whole Facel Vega and chihuahua stuff.

This is just still blowing my mind.

A Few Things To Be Thankful For 2022

I am thankful that the Democrats held onto the US Senate this midterms.

I am thankful that we are one day closer to donald trump facing criminal charges for violating the Presidential Records Act.

I am thankful we all survived to witness the 10th anniversary of the almighty Butt Fumble.

I am thankful that today at Thanksgiving dinner I get to meet a nephew I haven't seen in 20 years and a niece I've never met.

I am thankful I get one more chance to share the greatest Thanksgiving television episode of all time.

 REPEAT AFTER ME: "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

Turkey Sacrifice Day 2020: The Big Question

I mean, seriously, YouTube's been around for more than a decade, and yet we can't get a clean copy of the most epic punchline in television history?!

This is like someone videotaped the television. It's a copy of a copy, blurry and out of alignment.

WE DESERVE A CLEAN COPY OF TURKEYS AWAY, AMERICA!!!

Also, say a prayer to the New York Jets in honor of the Butt Fumble. I have spoken.

Turkey Sacrifice Day 2019

There's not much to say this year as we're all preparing for the nightmarish political landscape of a Presidential election cycle.

Except to note that trump and his Fox Not-News allies are making noises this year that libruls are waging a War on Thanksgiving. Wait, seriously? Yes seriously, because GOP fearmongering about ALL the national holidays is required to scare the voters into submission (I can't wait to see how they complain about National Donut Day (June 5 2020), you craven bastards).

So travel well, my fellow Americans, because on THIS national Turkey Sacrifice Day, we must make sure to eat every bit of the sacrifice for the rituals to work.

And as always, this day is best honored with this, this epic punchline to the best Turkey Sacrifice Day episode ever:

Stay healthy, kids!

How To Talk About JUSTICE LEAGUE at Thanksgiving

In the time-honored tradition of Thanksgiving, we are going to be faced with the terrible reality that arguments are unavoidable. That like it or not, somebody at the table is going to get offended about something.

So, in order to assist other families in keeping things calm while people hold carving knives in their hands, I'd like to offer some helpful hints in case anybody tries starting a Marvel VS DC debate as they pass the sweet potatoes.

Given how the Justice League movie just came out and is still in theaters, and in direct conflict with the current Thor Ragnarok for possible entertainment post-dinner, it's very likely that somebody is gonna talk smack about the lesser-received DC movie that is just too... grimdark about its own 'Verse.

So let's get this resolved by pointing out these key things:

1) Justice League (JL) isn't as bad as Batman V Superman.

Let's acknowledge the first film in this shared 'Verse was severely flawed. It focused so hard on setting up the Big Fight between Batman (Affleck) and Superman (Cavill) that it didn't do a good enough job fleshing out both characters to show how wrong Batman was to pick a fight against Clark, and how Superman wasn't more public in his need to atone for the damage caused in Man of Steel.  Also, Eisenberg's version of Luthor - while a nice departure from the hamminess of Hackman/Spacey - was too creepy and too smarmy to be taken seriously as an Evil Genius threat. BVS didn't do as good a job it needed to fleshing out the backstory of their being other Metahumans in the 'Verse, just tossing up hints about Diana and about the others without giving better context. Forcing a lot of that exposition into Bruce's Knightmares was heavy-handed at best.

JL went a long way towards cleaning up a lot of that mess. It gave Bruce motivation towards repairing the mistakes he made fighting Clark, and made it clear he knows he was in the wrong. It only gave us one big sequence of "the team fighting each other" element that's expected in superhero team-ups - when the team tries to contain a resurrected Superman - but from then on it focused on the prime threat of Steppenwolf, a New God vanguard for the Big Bad of the DC Universe (DARKSEID).

What Justice League does best is establish solid foundation of a superhero team involving characters that were earlier hard to take seriously - Aquaman in particular becomes the brawling badass he's supposed to be from the comics - or were hard to establish as characters who can helm their own solo projects - future Aquaman and Flash movies should be easy sells to the public.

2) Gal Gadot continues to hit it out of the park as Wonder Woman.

You can even roll with the argument that she's not in this movie enough to make it more enjoyable. There are moments where the filmmakers could have gone off a side tangent to show how Diana as THE Amazonian Princess was becoming a potent symbolic figure to women and girls. Every minute Wonder Woman is on the screen is a minute you're paying attention, not just to the fight scenes but also to the emotional drama.

3) Affleck isn't perfect as Batman/Wayne, but he does nail one key element for the DCU to continue.

Affleck is a bit stiff as Bruce Wayne, not conveying much emotionally as though he's focusing too hard on how direct/professional he tries to be as both a billionaire and Batman.

Something that crops up in JL is how old his version of Wayne is. Granted, mid-40s in this day and age isn't old old, but in superhero years he's getting close to retirement. His post-fight with a revived Superman examined the bruises and scars his already 20-year fight against crime has left him, and the battle against Steppenwolf likely added more. Affleck does convince as a vigilante growing aware of how he's no longer meant for this, yet remaining aware that the War (with Darkseid on the way) isn't over.

This sets up the sequel hook for Bats own movie in this 'Verse, one that's still reportedly delayed by creative conflicts, but one that sets up the possibility of Batman's Final Battle (most likely against a Darkseid-empowered Joker) and paving the way towards Dick Grayson/Robin stepping into the role of Gotham's savior as Nightwing. It all depends on how they work it out (Psst: Warner Bros, get in touch, team me up with Kevin Smith and we'll nail out a Batman flick on this inside of six months).

4) There are genuinely funny bits.

Thanks to Ezra Miller as this 'Verse version of Flash - a raw rookie to superheroing, literally taking his first steps even though he can go as fast as lightning - there is humor aplenty from his actions and reactions. Speedsters are popular characters in superhero films - just look at the two different Quicksilvers for Marvel and X-men - in that they play with slow-motion effects with charm and child-like wonder. Flash is the same way: Watching him pull off simple things with just a touch of a finger at super-speed gets the audience laughing. And the bit where Flash rushes in to fight a revived and angry Supes - only to see Clark turn his attention on him at the same speed he is, highlighting how Superman is canonically as fast as the Flash - got some of the biggest laughs with the audience I was with.

5) It makes me miss City of Heroes all that much more.

Oh, sorry, this is me. Let's continue.

6) If you can't convince the others around the table about the merits of the Justice League movie, at least point out that The Last Jedi is coming out in three weeks (OMG) and that we all need to settle down and wait to go see that as a family/group. That should resolve all matters until later.

Just don't go talking rubbish about Hawk The Slayer.

Update: I kid you not! I did talk to my sister-in-law about Justice League today! I was right!

Pagan Turkey Sacrifice Day 2017

Before we all get into Black Friday before chasing after our Saturnalia dreams, we need to perform the ritualistic slaughter of turkeys to appease our Gods!

And so, let us look back on the greatest performance of the ritual in modern American history!

WKRP'S "Turkeys Away" An Oral History

Appease the Gods!!!!

Also, a clip:

Thanksgiving 2016

Things I am thankful for:

My parents.
My siblings, older sister and older brother and slightly annoying twin brother.
My kittehs.
My closest friends, though few and on many days so far from where I am. I miss them, often. Facebook barely helps.
My professional career as a librarian. I get to help people, I get to solve problems, I get to do research and find out new things that I forget five minutes later.
My personal efforts at a writing career. Getting some of my stories out there for others to read. Getting a few decent reviews (would love, of course, to have more...) here and there. I am thankful I got another NaNoWriMo year of getting past 50,000 words on a novel project (that I know I NEED TO FINISH ONE DAY, DAMN ME).
I am thankful we got eight years of an Obama Presidency, as a measuring stick for our nation to see how a President should behave and lead.

Things I am not thankful for:

Watching my country get taken over by Nazis and Klansmen and total bastards, as the number of assaults both verbal and physical go up while the goddamn wingnuts openly give the Nazi salute. I thought we fought a f-cking world war to get rid of these Nazis. I thought we were growing past the race hatreds of the Jim Crow era. I thought we were going to listen to the better angels of our nature. Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently, there are still millions of total bastards among us eager to prove themselves bastards towards Blacks, Latinos, women, gays and transgender, and pretty much people Not Of THEIR Tribe.
And I am sure as hell not thankful the Presidency is going to get taken over by a known con artist, liar, and bankrupt thief like Donald Goddamn Trump. What the hell, America, what the hell.

Even kamikaze turkeys cannot brighten my mood.

And So, Once Again, It Comes To This

Nothing else about Pagan Turkey Sacrifice Day needs to be said...