Saturday, June 30, 2007

Needs To Be Said Dept: Romney

I normally don't want to blog about current news as much, since I want to be more about tossing out ideas. But I couldn't let this pass:

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney once tied his family's dog to the roof of a car for a 14-hour roadtrip.

The dog ended up pooping all over the pet carrier and onto the car itself, whereupon Romney got out, cleaned off the poop, and kept driving with the dog on top.

Two things here, boss: 1) if your dog is pooping everywhere, don't you think you ought to at least take the dog in somewhere for a checkup? And 2) Being tied onto the roof of a speeding car can make anyone, man and dog, literally sh-tless.

And his excuses now? Now that his wonderful little anecdote he tried telling as a way of showing his level-headed decision-making skills is making negative waves? "OH, the Dog LOVES being on the roof of the car!" Excuse me, boss: when someone takes a sh-t on something, that person ain't enjoying a damn thing.

Swear to Dog. There is no WAY now any dog owner, hell any pet owner, is going to vote for this slimeball.


Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Redistricting: destroying all mankind through map editing

I just caught this during a surf of political websites, many thanks to Charging RINO for highlighting this. Theres a site called Redistricting Game that, okay once you get past the Flash movie that opens it, allows you to mess around with communities in fictional states to show just how devastating gerrymandering can be to our political system.

I suggest you take a look, play the game, and read up on the reform proposals offered. This is a big issue that needs serious reform, and this demonstrates it better than any quick one-sentence amendment proposal I can come up with (which I can: the amendment idea would be to just get rid of districts and have the whole state population choose all their House representatives. It would have the effect of eliminating 'safe' incumbent seats, force candidates to appeal to a broader range of voters, and... well give me a moment I'm going to have to think this out a little further...).

Summer Checklist 2007

I just want to take this opportunity to establish some of the amendment ideas I've brought up before continuing, just so I can keep track of what's p-ssing me off the most at various moments.

So there we stand on amendment ideas. It'd be nice if people could take note, and also take note that they can resolve these issues themselves, but still. I have a few more amendment ideas to table, such as tweaking the war powers responsibilities of both the Congress and the White House, or something about eliminating the office of the Vice President, or something to get rid of fleas I hope... no wait...

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Total Recall Amendment

This has been brewing in my head for some time, ever since Attorney Doofus Alberto Gonzales testified before Congress about the partisan US Attorney firings... and didn't testify to much because he kept saying "I Don't Recall" or variations to that effect.

71 times. 71 "I Don't Recalls". I've known Alzheimer's patients with better memories (many thanks to the Marine who kept count).

We've now got another Dept. of Justice employee, some guy named Schlozman, with such poor memory you gotta wonder what's in their diet. This "I Don't Recall" problem is growing, spreading like a virus among our elected elite to where we may have all of them suffering from severe memory loss. Hey wait... maybe if they forget how to get out of beds in the mornings... hmmmmm...

Of course, there's really nothing wrong with their memories. Not at all. It's just these guys are getting caught now committing all these sins that when brought up to testify under oath they're not about to tell the truth (because it will get them arrested) and since they don't want to get caught lying (because that will also get them arrested) they take the third route: ACTING STUPID. It's the Middle Schooler Defense: trust me, catch a 7th grader in the act and their immediate response is "I don't knowwwww..."

So here's a wonderful little Amendment proposal I've got, which is something I'm sure Congress would love:

  • Any person called to testify before Congress, regardless of being under oath, who answers any question with "I Don't Recall" or in any way feigns ignorance or cluelessness, shall immediately lose their employment, and will be barred from any federal employment, as their poor memory will clearly hamper their performance.
  • Their position shall immediately be filled by someone from an opposing political party. At double salary and benefits.
  • Dunce Caps will be optional.

I think that ought to ensure people at least testify like they're supposed to.