WKRP Turkey Drop Remembrance 2023

"Sir, not a lot of turkeys survive Thanksgiving!"
-- Jennifer, WKRP receptionist 

Today is Turkey Sacrifice Day. Please, as you bake the sweet potatoes and dice the stuffing, say a silent prayer for those brave turkeys who fell - literally - back in 1978.

"WE FLY OR WE DIE!!"
-- battlecry of the WKRP Turkey Drop survivors

This punchline will never get old.

A Few Things To Be Thankful For 2022

I am thankful that the Democrats held onto the US Senate this midterms.

I am thankful that we are one day closer to donald trump facing criminal charges for violating the Presidential Records Act.

I am thankful we all survived to witness the 10th anniversary of the almighty Butt Fumble.

I am thankful that today at Thanksgiving dinner I get to meet a nephew I haven't seen in 20 years and a niece I've never met.

I am thankful I get one more chance to share the greatest Thanksgiving television episode of all time.

 REPEAT AFTER ME: "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

Turkey Sacrifice Day 2021: Unleash the Gravy

And now that I've gotten the somber, reflective 2000th post out of the way:

IT'S TURKEY SACRIFICE DAY, AMERICA!!!

And in case the turkeys ever DO mount a counter-attack:

NOW DEFEAT THOSE TURKEYS AS BENJAMIN FRANKLIN INTENDED US TO DEFEAT THEM!!!

And don't forget the gravy:

VICTORY OR DEATH! VICTORY OR DEATH! VICTORY OR... ooooh wait save some room for the pumpkin pie.

Turkey Sacrifice Day 2020: The Big Question

I mean, seriously, YouTube's been around for more than a decade, and yet we can't get a clean copy of the most epic punchline in television history?!

This is like someone videotaped the television. It's a copy of a copy, blurry and out of alignment.

WE DESERVE A CLEAN COPY OF TURKEYS AWAY, AMERICA!!!

Also, say a prayer to the New York Jets in honor of the Butt Fumble. I have spoken.

Turkey Sacrifice Day 2019

There's not much to say this year as we're all preparing for the nightmarish political landscape of a Presidential election cycle.

Except to note that trump and his Fox Not-News allies are making noises this year that libruls are waging a War on Thanksgiving. Wait, seriously? Yes seriously, because GOP fearmongering about ALL the national holidays is required to scare the voters into submission (I can't wait to see how they complain about National Donut Day (June 5 2020), you craven bastards).

So travel well, my fellow Americans, because on THIS national Turkey Sacrifice Day, we must make sure to eat every bit of the sacrifice for the rituals to work.

And as always, this day is best honored with this, this epic punchline to the best Turkey Sacrifice Day episode ever:

Stay healthy, kids!

Turkey Sacrifice Day 2018

I need to note that I have finally run into a Pagan - all my friends are Heathens dontcha know - and she was not entirely thrilled to hear me call Thanksgiving a Pagan Turkey Sacrifice Day. Especially since I didn't name which deity the poor bird was getting sacrificed to.

So I need to find out of there's a God/Goddess that oversees the fumbling of footballs that were caused by the unfortunate collisions into the posterior of an offensive linesman.

For yea verily, this IS the 6th year anniversary of the infamous Butt Fumble. (Mark Sanchez is playing today as a backup QB for Washington)

But let's go back discussing to WHOM we are sacrificing turkeys.

I got money on the Native American legend of the Thunderbird.

In the meantime, enjoy your sacrifice of Ben Franklin's favorite feathered foe!

Pagan Turkey Sacrifice Day 2017

Before we all get into Black Friday before chasing after our Saturnalia dreams, we need to perform the ritualistic slaughter of turkeys to appease our Gods!

And so, let us look back on the greatest performance of the ritual in modern American history!

WKRP'S "Turkeys Away" An Oral History

Appease the Gods!!!!

Also, a clip:

Thanksgiving 2016

Things I am thankful for:

My parents.
My siblings, older sister and older brother and slightly annoying twin brother.
My kittehs.
My closest friends, though few and on many days so far from where I am. I miss them, often. Facebook barely helps.
My professional career as a librarian. I get to help people, I get to solve problems, I get to do research and find out new things that I forget five minutes later.
My personal efforts at a writing career. Getting some of my stories out there for others to read. Getting a few decent reviews (would love, of course, to have more...) here and there. I am thankful I got another NaNoWriMo year of getting past 50,000 words on a novel project (that I know I NEED TO FINISH ONE DAY, DAMN ME).
I am thankful we got eight years of an Obama Presidency, as a measuring stick for our nation to see how a President should behave and lead.

Things I am not thankful for:

Watching my country get taken over by Nazis and Klansmen and total bastards, as the number of assaults both verbal and physical go up while the goddamn wingnuts openly give the Nazi salute. I thought we fought a f-cking world war to get rid of these Nazis. I thought we were growing past the race hatreds of the Jim Crow era. I thought we were going to listen to the better angels of our nature. Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently, there are still millions of total bastards among us eager to prove themselves bastards towards Blacks, Latinos, women, gays and transgender, and pretty much people Not Of THEIR Tribe.
And I am sure as hell not thankful the Presidency is going to get taken over by a known con artist, liar, and bankrupt thief like Donald Goddamn Trump. What the hell, America, what the hell.

Even kamikaze turkeys cannot brighten my mood.

Happy Pagan Turkey Sacrifice Day 2015!

And on this day, the Good Lord let us witness this:

There are few other ways to celebrate this day of crazed, bird-carving ritual of dismemberment and consumption.

Well, there's always football.

Never Forget.

TURKEY PAGAN SACRIFICE DAY 2014

Edit: I really should call this Pagan Turkey Sacrifice Day. If I say it as Turkey Pagan Sacrifice, it reads like the turkeys are sacrificing the pagans, right...?


To refresh:

...Now, about the proper way to sacrifice your turkey to the pagan Gods of the Harvest...  First, lay out a table in a geometric pattern with silver stabbing weapons and ceramic plates in which the ritual offerings can be placed.  Light some scented harvest-themed candles in the center of the table... Have the participants sit within an order decided by rank and by age...  Bring forth the SACRIFICE!  Offer a prayer to the appropriate deity of the house...  AND BEGIN THE CUTTING...!

Multiple sacrifices AKA seconds may be granted depending on the satisfaction of the house deity. 

TONIGHT!  THERE WILL BE SATED GODS.  ALL WILL BE WELL WITHIN THE PANTHEON OF DEITIES.

Burp.

Also, this as always:

Next up, IO SATURNLIA!

And So, Once Again, It Comes To This

Nothing else about Pagan Turkey Sacrifice Day needs to be said...