Edit: I really should call this Pagan Turkey Sacrifice Day. If I say it as Turkey Pagan Sacrifice, it reads like the turkeys are sacrificing the pagans, right...?
To refresh:
...Now, about the proper way to sacrifice your turkey to the pagan Gods of the Harvest... First, lay out a table in a geometric pattern with silver stabbing weapons and ceramic plates in which the ritual offerings can be placed. Light some scented harvest-themed candles in the center of the table... Have the participants sit within an order decided by rank and by age... Bring forth the SACRIFICE! Offer a prayer to the appropriate deity of the house... AND BEGIN THE CUTTING...!
Multiple sacrifices AKA seconds may be granted depending on the satisfaction of the house deity.
TONIGHT! THERE WILL BE SATED GODS. ALL WILL BE WELL WITHIN THE PANTHEON OF DEITIES.
Prepare for the horror that is... creamy Asparagus dishes! Artichokes! Swedish meatballs! ...no, seriously, some people do meatballs for Thanksgiving. Why? I mean, stick to the traditional meats like turkey, or honey ham, or fish. Fish is legal, it's a Pilgrim staple... ya, ya...
So anyhoo, for the benefit of the seven people who follow this blog, here's the keystone to our holiday festivity:
Now, about the proper way to sacrifice your turkey to the pagan Gods of the Harvest... First, lay out a table in a geometric pattern with silver stabbing weapons and ceramic plates in which the ritual offerings can be placed. Light some scented harvest-themed candles in the center of the table... Have the participants sit within an order decided by rank and by age... Bring forth the SACRIFICE! Offer a prayer to the appropriate deity of the house... AND BEGIN THE CUTTING...!
Multiple sacrifices AKA seconds may be granted depending on the satisfaction of the house deity.
TONIGHT! THERE WILL BE SATED GODS. ALL WILL BE WELL WITHIN THE PANTHEON OF DEITIES.
Also, it's the one-year anniversary of the Butt Fumble. Sometimes, we must wonder which Gods the Jets displeased...
Next up, SATURNALIA! I need more computer desktop wallpapers for Saturnalia, graphics artists! NOW...
Certain holidays get the love when it comes to our popular culture.
Christmas, obviously. Halloween, for the kids and the cosplayers. 4th of July. Easter. Flag Day (Happy Birthday MOM!)
Which is the pity of it for some of the other big holidays that, well, just don't have the cultural impact that those primary holidays have. Thanksgiving, for one.
Oh, it's a big holiday to be sure. One of the few nationally sanctioned by the government and yet treated as more than just some bank or school holiday. Tied in with our historical heritage of the Pilgrims giving thanks for a successful harvest in the earliest days of our nation's founding (and our subsequent march across to the Pacific to ensure our Manifest Destiny, yeah the Sioux and the Mexicans are still thrilled about that), Thanksgiving is meant as a time for family, for gathering, for eating large amounts of food (well, for the half of us not living on unemployment benefits). Oh, and there's the Macy's Parade and three (used to be two, but Detroit and Dallas don't always have good teams to encourage viewing so...) NFL football games for the guys to watch while Mom burns her fingers off getting the turkey out of the oven.
But Turkey Day, I mean Thanksgiving, doesn't have a lot in terms of entertainment. There's not a lot of movies celebrating it: most holiday gathering flicks tend to go with Christmas. There's very few television specials and just one off the top of my head: Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, but this is considering they've made specials for ALL holidays (for the Love of Snoopy, there's an Arbor Day special!). Other than Adam Sandler, there's no songs celebrating Thanksgiving and the turkey delights.
Ah, but then, back in 1978, a then-new sitcom called WKRP in Cincinnati broadcast an episode called "Turkeys Away."
