LIVE from somewhere in the middle of the lunatic asylum known as the I-4 Corridor of the Sunshine State, it's a majorly-stressed Moderate voter watching the early returns and freaking out over the Presidential race and the Senate races.
It's 7:36 right now. Florida is currently too close to call. That's usually because the major population centers of Miami/Dade and Broward Counties along with Orlando and Tampa-St. Pete metros haven't checked in yet, during which we can hope that the turnout for Hillary picks up.
AAAAAAUUUGGGGGGHHHH I just wanna see more Blue on the maps right now.
Check for constant updating as often as possible.
Update 7:43 PM: did you see that Nevada judge just shred the Trump lawyer trying to stymie the early voting efforts? If Hillary wins and she gets a friendly Senate, any chance Judge Sturman gets on the short-list for the Supreme Court?
Update 7:49 PM: The biggest problem with this part of the evening - just after 7 PM when most East Coast polls close - is waiting for enough results to come in for the networks to "comfortably call" any states one way or another.
For some reason, Kentucky and Indiana finished up early and their results are in ahead of New Hampshire and Maine (but not Vermont) so I'm currently looking at results that say Trump 24 - Clinton 3. Which is why I'm going AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH for the moment.
Dammit Kentucky, you should know better than this. /headdesk
I hope to God 8:30 PM gives me better numbers.
Update 8:00 PM: MSNBC is evaluating the Florida counties, showing Dade, Broward, Palm Beach and Hillsborough counties going YYYUUUGGEEELY for Hillary. She's currently leading Florida 50 percent to 48 percent.
MSNBC is calling Illinois right off the bat at 8:00 PM, along with Massachusetts and New Jersey and Maryland. They're calling Trump states with Alabama and Tennessee and already Oklahoma. Hold on, they're calling a ton of states. BRB.
Update 8:15 PM: Goddammit. MSNBC is saying Rubio's gonna win the FL Senate race. He's up 51 percent over Murphy at 45 percent. What's happening there - if Hillary's still leading over Trump - is that the Republicans refusing to vote for Trump have no problem voting for Rubio.
This is gonna suck. This makes it likelier the Senate won't flip, which if Hillary wins means a shit-ton of obstruction.
I pray to the Old Gods and the New the other Senate races that can flip will go Democrat. We need 51 Senate seats at least.
Update 8:52 PM: There's apparently a lot of ballot-counting left to do in Broward and Dade counties - AGAIN - to where the close race here in Florida is STILL too close to call. I'd like to think that the results from those remaining districts will be what catapults Hillary over Trump with enough wiggle room to prove she won, rather than deal with a redux of the godawful 2000 recount.
If there's ANY good news out of Florida it's that the two big state amendments are going the right way: the Medical Marijuana amendment is going to pass, and the Solar Monopoly amendment is struggling in the results (it shouldn't get the 60 percent needed to win).
Update 9:05 PM: It's pretty much over for Amendment 1 here in Florida, the Solar-Utility referendum isn't going to make that 60 percent cutoff. Decent moral victory there.
On a local note, my boy Charlie Crist is winning his Congressional District in St. Petersburg, so at least one of the good guys will win here in Florida.
Update 9:22 PM: I know that in a lot of mid-sized and large states that Trump is leading only because the smaller rural counties that lean Republican are the first to report in, so it's skewing the early turnouts. But I cannot wrap my mind around how so many places are still going for him. This is insane.
We're STILL waiting on precincts from Broward and Dade (and maybe Hillsborough) to report in.
Update 9:55 PM: There's been almost no activity over this hour because the large precincts are still not reporting in. What's terrifying is that Trump is still just ahead by thousands of votes here in Florida that he could conceivably win this state.
It's looking like Trump could win Ohio after all. Virginia and North Carolina and even Michigan are now in play.
It looks like it was wishful thinking that Trump was losing support of Republican voters. He's doing just fine getting turnout. I'm sick to my stomach right now.
I honestly cannot see my nation this evening. It's been consumed by a raging racist sexist monster.
Wanna know the funny part? The financial markets, the ones that supposedly LOVE Republicans for their tax-cutting deregulatory ways, are currently panicking because they know goddamn well Trump will be a disaster in the White House. Not just the trade wars he's going to ignite before he even gets in there but because the Republican economic agenda he's going to sign off on won't work. Dow Futures is collapsing faster than how the British Sterling Pound fell after Brexit.
AND HOW THE HELL CAN NEW HAMPSHIRE AND MAINE STILL BE TOO CLOSE TO CALL?!
Update 10:25 PM: we're STILL waiting on Florida results from the major counties down south. We're still waiting on Georgia and North Carolina and Virginia too.
Bad news from North Carolina: The Senate race there went to the Republican Burr. We're not looking good on the Senate seats at the moment, even if Hillary can pull off a win tonight.
Just seeing so many voters for Trump right now, and it sickens me we're seeing that many racist or clueless voters out there.
I worried this election would go like the Florida governor races in 2010 and 2014 where Rick "No Ethics" Scott won despite clear evidence of his corruption and incompetence. Trump is pretty much like him, only more vulgar, racist and sexist... and TRUMP IS STILL DOING BETTER THAN HE SHOULD.
Update 10:40 PM: I kind of don't want Florida results any time soon. I'm absolutely terrified that somehow Trump does better in South Florida than he ought to and that he somehow wins this state by 150 votes. /vomit
Update 11:15 PM: I'm seeing now that the Tampa Bay Times and other outlets are saying Trump won Florida.
I'm honestly disappointed. I thought we were seeing bigger turnout among voters, that we'd be seeing more Democratic votes, that we'd be close but at least it'd end up with Hillary winning our state.
And now we're on the precipice of Trump winning the whole damn thing. He's taken Ohio, he's taken North Carolina. All of a sudden Michigan and Wisconsin are in play. Nevada and Arizona might not go Democratic after all.
We're looking at the likelihood of a President Trump tomorrow morning.
What the hell, America? What the goddamn hell did you decide to do?
I can't stay up any longer. I'm too depressed to focus any more.
WHAT THE GODDAMN HELL, AMERICA