Sunday, August 20, 2017

I Always Start Laughing Nonstop When the Ninjas Show Up

Ahh, the 1980s, when MTV showed up and all of a sudden EVERY single release needed to have a video clip with it... whether it even made sense or not.

Ergo, the infamous Bonnie Tyler video for "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Basically a song about a woman falling in love with a vampire, the video for it turned into a twisted metaphor for boarding schools filled with possessed choir boys and dancing Fonzies.

In fact, the only SANE way to watch the video is with the Literal Song Lyrics:



This chart might help:

The only reason I'm even thinking about this is because tomorrow is the TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE WAL-MART... across half the United States, although the totality will be a narrow band of OMG THERE'S NO PARKING HERE because 50 million Americans are getting there ahead of you.

NASA has a website dedicated to the eclipse. Even if you can't get within the band of totality, you can at least enjoy the partial eclipse within your zip code. As long as it doesn't freaking rain in the early afternoon where you live (mutter grumble freaking Florida weather grumble).

As for getting within the Band of Totality, you have to know a musical instrument and have a decent sense of melody and rhythm. /owstophittingme

Remember kids, don't stare right at the eclipse: let your parents do that for you instead!

1 comment:

dinthebeast said...

OK, that video is hilarious. Of course it was heavily overcast this morning for the first time in weeks, and my friend Zsuzs lives too close to the fire in Yosemite so she couldn't see it through the smoke. I did see a live stream of it, and when it went to totality, the crowd watching burst into applause... I guess for science and the ability to know when and where it would happen?
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna tell myself, they were applauding science.

-Doug in Oakland