Sunday, May 22, 2016

This Is What the Constant BernieBro Backlash Has Brought Me To

(Update: Big hello again to the Crooks & Liars audience visiting via the Mike's Blog Round-Up link! Thank you again, Infidel753 for the promotion!)

What I'm seeing in the Twitter feeds and on Salon.com - that site has gone so far in for Bernie and so against Hillary that when Hillary wins I'm afeared they'll go full Trump on us - that "we" need to blow up the Democratic Party to save it has driven me to break out the trout and perform the most epic of put-downs:

Breaking out poorly edited Monty Python snark.

Overheard at a Bernie Sanders Support Meeting

Bernie: All right, Shaun King. Don't labor the point. And what have the Democratic Party ever given us in return?

X-Man fan: Civil rights legislation in the 1960s.

Bernie: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.

Guy Fawkes Mask Guy: And the unionized sanitation workers!

Shaun: Oh yes... sanitation unions, Bernie, you remember what the city used to be like whenever they'd go on strike.

Bernie: All right, I'll grant you that the civil rights and the sanitation unions are two things that the Democrats have done...

Jeff: And the roads bills they keep pushing so we can fix our aging highways and bridges...

Bernie: (angry) Well yes obviously the roads and bridges... the roads and bridges go without saying. But apart from the civil rights, the sanitation unions, and the roads...

Another Activist dressed like a Ghostbuster: Climate change activism...

Other Cosplay Voices: Cheaper Medicine... Public Education... Frank-Dodd regulations... Obamacare getting 90 percent of the population covered...

Bernie: Yes... all right, fair enough...

Anime Fan near the front: And Obama does his own crafted brewing! I've shared some recipes with him!

All of the Mob: Oh yes! True!

Pope Francis: Yeah. That's something we'd really miss if the Democrats broke up, Bernie.

Stan Lee (cameo): And the crime rate's dropped during the last eight years.

Pope Francis: Yes, they certainly know how to keep order... (The crowd nods)... let's face it, they're the only ones who could in a nation like this.

Bernie (frustrated): All right... all right... but apart from the civil rights and the sanitation unions and Obamacare and education and climate change issues and microbreweries and roads and a regulated financial system and public order... what have the Democratic Party done for us?

Jeff: Nobel peace prizes?

Bernie: (angry) What!? (scornfully) Peace... shut it!

(The previous has been ripped shamelessly from Life of Brian)

I have a little too much MegaCon conventioning on my mind right now. Apologies for that.

Just to note, this is post No.999 on this blog. So the next one I do has got to be a biggie. Keep alert.

3 comments:

dinthebeast said...

It's getting hard to avoid sounding like a conspiracy-theorist when dealing with the more rabid variety of Bernie supporters: "Please don't just believe that 20 year old attack ad bullshit, listen to what Hillary is actually gonna do..." is getting me exactly nowhere with them.
And then there's this:

Betty Cracker at Balloon Juice:

"{ ….Your preferred candidate couldn’t get enough votes to win the Democratic primary, boo-fucking-hoo. Been there, done that, got the stupid orange hat.

And BTW, that bit about the Democratic Party being “way too corrupt to be a real agent of progressive change”? President Obama is the current head of the Democratic Party, and comparing his progressive accomplishments to Senator Sanders’ is like comparing the mass of the fucking sun to a lentil.

So yeah, nope. You join the snow-white unicorns in the Indy Corral over yonder — we grubby, corrupt Democrats will sack up and take on the Orcs. You’re welcome….)"

...Which is, of course, just adding to the animosity, never mind its truthfulness or importance right about now. I keep reading about how it has been way worse in previous cycles that we still won, but I can't shake the image of W being installed in the presidency anyway.

-Doug in Oakland

Thomas Everett said...

You forgot someone yelling "Splitter!"

Paul said...

The PFJ?