Wednesday, November 11, 2015

On This Veterans Day 2015

A summation about the War:

Edmund:   Do you mean "Why did the war start?"

Baldrick:   Yeah.

George:   The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire-building.

Edmund:  George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganyika.    I hardly think that we can be entirely absolved of blame on the imperialistic front.

George:   Oh, no, sir, absolutely not. [aside, to Baldick]   Mad as a bicycle!

Baldrick:  I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke shot an ostrich 'cause he was hungry.

Edmund:  I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austro-Hungary got shot.

Baldrick:  Nah, there was definitely an ostrich involved, sir.

Edmund:  Well, possibly.   But the real reason for the whole thing was that it was too much effort not to have a war.

George:   By Golly, this is interesting; I always loved history...

Edmund:  You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war in Europe, two superblocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other.   The idea was to have two vast opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent.   That way there could never be a war.

Baldrick:  But this is a sort of a war, isn't it, sir?

Edmund:  Yes, that's right.   You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan.

George:   What was that, sir?

Edmund:  It was bollocks.

There you go, kiddies. Any of you studying for AP European should be set to go. /owstophittingme

1 comment:

dinthebeast said...

"Armistice day, armistice day
that's all I really wanted to say..."

"Armistice Day" by Paul Simon

-Doug in Oakland