Top Ten Executive Orders I'd Like to See Out of President Biden

Apparently, Joe Biden hit the ground running as our 46th President of the United States by signing a vast number of Executive Orders, to the point where Republicans - who loved it when trump abused Executive Order signings so they didn't have to get held accountable in Congress with actual work - are whining about it (via Darraugh Roche at Newsweek): 

Biden has signed a significant number of executive orders in a short period and has drawn criticism from Republicans, some of whom have accused the president of ruling by diktat...

Some prominent Republicans have claimed that Biden has issued a modern-record number of executive orders in his first days in office. Biden had issued 37 executive orders during his first week, the New York Post reported on Tuesday...

The Economist noted on January 22 that Biden had signed more executive orders in two days than Trump had in two months and was setting a record pace, while NBC News lists 40 executive actions up to January 26.

Of the 40, 32 are listed as executive orders. The others are classed as proclamations or memoranda. However, it's common to refer to these as executive orders and they have a similar effect. Executive orders are listed at the Federal Register, but the site has not been fully updated yet.

"It's too early to know whether we'll see a large number of executive orders by Biden. It's not unusual for a president to sign several orders on his first day in office, but Biden did more of those than his predecessors, in large part to undo many of Trump's more controversial ones," said Seth Masket, professor of political science at Duke University...

And while a lot of them are necessary actions to undo the damage trump has done with immigration, trade, the environment, legal obligations, and so forth, there are still a number of Executive Orders I'd like to see from Biden that I think will go a long way to rebuilding our world.

So here you go, from David Letterman's legal counsel, our Top Ten Executive Orders I'd Like to See Out of President Biden!

10) Make it mandatory that everybody BUT donald trump gets two scoops of ice cream, poor donnie gets stuck one scoop from now on!

9) Send Rise of Skywalker back to the drawing board to get directed by Gareth Edwards with a better script that makes freaking gorram sense at the end!

8) Rename every street in front of a trump-own building or resort after Barack Obama!

7) Recast the entirety of next season's American Horror Story with Muppets!

6) Tattoo the names of every person who died due to the 1/6/21 Insurrection on trump's forehead!

5) Declare Skid Row the American Hair Metal Laurates of 2021! 

4) Require trump to have his golf games tracked by officials from the Professional Golfers' Association that he can't bribe or bully to document his actual golfing scores!

3) Make it legal for all spelling bee contests get decided with a Yo Mama smackdown between finalists!

2) Order all relevant agencies in the Executive branch to unredact every document of every investigation held on trump's own administration, from the Mueller Report down to every IG corruption probe held!

1) LESS TALK, MORE ROCK!