Wednesday, February 03, 2016

There's Now Leg Room In the GOP 2016 Clown Car

When last we left our intrepid wingnuts, Iowa happened and with it being the First Round of GTFO for anyone polling lower than rock fungus, we were due for a few of the underwhelming performers to bolt for the nearest exit with their hopes dashed and their flowing tears lapped up by social media taunters who enjoy the fresh taste of schadenfreude in the morning.

On the eve of the Iowa Caucus itself, we had Huckabee slinking away to see about getting his job at Fox Not-News back, with Democratic candidate Martin O'Malley just not even getting the media attention of his departure. Meh.

Today, we opened up with Rand Paul suspending his operation and just a few hours ago Rick "Don't GOOGLE ME" Santorum packing it in as well.

This means we need to update the GOP Dead Pool at this very moment, which may change tomorrow if more candidates drop out:

Perry (September 11)
Walker (September 21)
Santorum (February 3)
Paul (February 3)
Graham (December 21)
Jindal (November 17)
Huckabee (February 1)
Bush (note: technically still alive)

So far, I would have lost the bet with Jindal leaving way earlier than expected with Graham also departing before the likes of Santorum (who had been polling for ages well below any threshold of recognition this cycle).

It's interesting to note that Fiorina has fallen into minuscule numbers and had even committed the sin of not even showing up for her own Iowa party. If I had to redraw the Dead Pool list I'd move her to the top alongside Gilmore, who apparently hasn't gotten the memo that people still don't know who he is. Dammit Jim, you're skewing the spin!

On the other hand, the clown car candidate list has shrunk itself down to nine names, which could allow for the upcoming debates to invite all of the candidates on-stage. However, the party - and the cable channels - are likely to shrink the major all-star lineups from their current 7-8 debaters down to a more manageable 6, forcing the lesser three - currently Gilmore, Fiorina and Christie/Kasich - into the kids'-table debate. They wanna drop a hint or twelve to the lesser mortals to clear out and let Rubio secure Third Place behind Cruz and Trump.

Who you got fleeing for the greener pastures of the Sunday talk show circuit?

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