Top Ten Legal Ways Republicans Can Stop Donald Trump

Right now, they and this nation are running out of options...

10) Dig up any evidence that Trump committed some form of fraud during a bankruptcy proceeding that would be a violation of 18 US Code s157.
9) Hire the best hypnotist to zap him into speaking Mexican for the rest of his life.
8) Tell him he needs to tour overseas as part of building up foreign policy cred, ship him to a country that promises to keep him there. (problem: Which country WOULD?)
7) Dig up any evidence that Trump is really DB Cooper.
6) Get him to start a land development deal with Mitch and Murray over some properties called Glengarry and Glen Ross. Forget it, the way Trump operates land deals, everybody but him gets screwed.
5) Get him to drop out of the Presidential race by promising him the CEO position at LexCorp.
4) Dig up any evidence that self-proclaimed "New Yawker" Trump was really born in Buford Wyoming. His shame would crush himself.
3) Trick him into signing away his campaign funds in an elaborate sting involving Robert Redford, Paul Newman, an all-star cast of c... whadda ya mean, it's been done?
2) Take him out into the woods of Washington State on a snipe hunt, leave him there without any cell phone, and don't tell anyone where you went.

and the Top Legal Way Republicans Can Stop Donald Trump:

1) STOP VOTING FOR THAT CON ARTIST RACIST MOFO