Tuesday, April 30, 2019

What Does Arya Say to the God of Death? Anything She Damn Well Wants To

In the aftermath of the Battle of Winterfell, how fared our heroes?


Okay, I kid. Only 99 percent of the Dothraki and maybe half the Unsullied and about 20 percent of the Wildlings and about 85 percent of everybody's vision because if your flat-screen TV wasn't set to the highest Brightness setting you couldn't see a DAMN thing.

As I figured, Beric and Theon were toast. Lost Edd, likely the final Lord Commander of the Night's Watch (since the Wall is gone and the White Walkers are dead). I didn't want Lady Lyanna Mormont to die (NOOOOO) but at least she killed a giant wight before she passed on. Her cousin Jorah Mormont was marked for doom as the perpetual Friendzoned bodyguard of his Khaleesi, but I had hoped he'd survive... nope. But he went out defending his queen and Daenerys really really felt bad about it so there's that. Almost lost Sandor but Beric slapped some sense into him before he bit the ballista. Completely forgot about the Red Woman Melisandre but she showed up at the last minute and used her firebending to defend the castle before quitting this world like a boss.

Every other major and secondary character survived, which means they're now faced with the priorities of taking on a well-rested and fully-powered Cersei at King's Landing. But they can all thank one character for finishing up this part of the epic storyline by wiping out the zombie apocalypse.

Yay Arya.

Sheesh. You'd think she'd won a Super Bowl or something.

Well, okay, so a lot of people were really impressed that she...

Okay, so everyone's completely freaking out over Arya...

Look, to any of the assholes out there calling Arya a "Mary Sue," you have no fooking clue. She's a badass. End of story. Well, not really ended because GEORGE RR MARTIN NEEDS TO WRITE THE DAMN END. Ahem.

Valar Morghulis

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