Schadenfreude for Hannity 2018 Edition

Who knew that the Saturday Night Live opener this past weekend - where Ben Stiller comes back to do a spot-on mockery of trump lawyer(ish) Michael Cohen - would reveal that, yeah, Cohen probably isn't all that good a lawyer in real life?

So far, the only things he's shown lawyering has been trying to pay off women who had affairs with guys like trump and Elliot Broidy, an RNC finance deputy until he resigned before the weekend over revelations Cohen paid off a Playmate Broidy was having an affair with (plus the woman had an abortion because of the affair!). This also included someone the warrants referred to as "Client #3".

So today, this Monday, Cohen was in court trying to argue his way through the warrants and seizures of his legal papers and materials from last Monday. The whole thing was going to be a circus anyway, with Stormy Daniels and her lawyer planning to appear (not to testify but to sit there and make Cohen uncomfortable). But another thing that threatened to be a newsworthy event was the possibility the judge would compel Cohen to name his mysterious third client.

Speculation was rampant. I myself was hoping for Mitch McConnell getting named.

Well, read on:

BREAKING: NBC News confirms that, after being forced to disclose the name in court, Michael Cohen says his third client - after Donald Trump and Elliot Broidy - is Sean Hannity. - @AliVelshi

Ahem.

Give me a second.

BWHWHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHA

I dunno if I ever brought the disdain I have for Sean Hannity, the blowhard of Fox Not-News that's NOT Bill O'Reilly. As a journalism grad, I have absolutely no respect for Hannity who struts and preens but lacks even the fundamental skills of journalism having been a goddamn college dropout. (side note: there is a shocking number of non-graduate talking heads on television)

With Hannity, my anger and outrage towards him is based on his failure to apply any amount of objective journalistic practice to what he does: EVERYTHING out of him is pure opinion with little fact, and with partisan bias galore.

So why is this a huge deal?

Because 1) Cohen's legal practice seems to specialize entirely on covering up sex scandals, 2) Hannity's network Fox News has a sordid history of sexual harassment claims, cover-ups, and worse, 3) Hannity is currently trying to deny any kind of legal connection to Cohen, and then saying he talked to Cohen about property issues, and then asserting that there's still attorney-client privilege even if there's no lawyering going on so shut up and look away why don't ya?

Let me repeat.

BWHWHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHA

Hannity himself seemed to be a little blindsided by today's revelation, as an observer of Hannity's radio show noted:

The Sean Hannity Radio Show so far:
Background rock music.
SILENCE.
More music.
Clip of Trump/Hannity show promo.
Another Hannity show promo.
Clip of Comey interview.
So far, Hannity has not yet spoken. - @ZackFord

Hannity eventually spoke up, spent much of his show blasting Comey, offered an excuse of "simple consultation," never received an invoice, WE WERE JUST GOOD FRIENDS, CAN'T A GUY HAVE MORE THAN ONE FRIEND, YOU KNOW, AN AMIGO?

Can I just repeat myself under the trope of Rule of Three?

BWHWHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHA

If this were a gangster movie, the entire trump empire is looking less like Vito Corleone's operation and more like an army of Fredos, tripping over each other in the worst possible ways.

This would be funny if the fate of the entire planet wasn't under dire threat of these Fredos mismanaging everything into a fireball of doom.