Quick Takeaway from the First Round Democratic Debates for 2020 (w/ Update)

Okay, so everybody likes to make lists during elections.

Here's my list - brief and arbitrary and totally biased - of how the 2020 Democratic primary nominees should be ranked going into the next election cycle.

Big Hitters (The front-runners who stayed in place and those who impressed)	Joe Biden Kamala Harris Bernie Sanders Elizabeth Warren
Dark Horses (The ones who did better than expected or at least didn't embarrass themselves onstage)	Cory Booker Pete Buttigieg Julian Castro
Should Plan On the VP Short List (The ones who showed competence but not enough oomph to get past the main leads, if they were even allowed to show at the first round in the first place)	Michael Bennet Steve Bullock Kirsten Gillibrand Jay Inslee Amy Klobucher Tim Ryan
Should Drop Out Now and Run for Governor or the Senate or Something (Beto in particular is having a Rick Perry moment on the national stage. Just... go back and win Texas instead, okay?)	Bill DeBlasio John Hickenlooper Beto O'Rourke Joe Sestack Eric Swalwell
Should Drop Out of The Party and Go Work for Fox Not-News as the Token Fake Democrat	John Delaney Seth Moulton Tulsi Gabbard
Seriously, Why You Here???	Mike Gravel Wayne Messum Marianne Williamson Andrew Yang

I'll be making Honest Bumper Stickers to reflect this better. Soon. Maybe.

Update 7/7/19: Christ. I swear there are days when I wonder if author John Scalzi and I were separated at birth, because when it comes to politics I find myself agreeing on nearly every argument he makes...