Write-In for Florida US District 18

I know this is late to the game and all, but I'm looking at my Polk County FL ballot and I'm a little perturbed by what I see for my Congressional district - 18th District, stretching from Polk County southward to Lake Okeechobee - choices.

There's no Democrat running this midterm. As a result, the choices I have are either the establishment Far Right Conservative Republican candidate, the Far Right Conservative Independent candidate with ties to the NRA (boo hiss), and a Write-In slot.

...

Fuck it, I'm using the Write-In slot. And since I don't know anybody else to write in... Fuck it, I'm writing myself in on the Ego ticket.

So if anybody else in Central Florida with the 18th District as your stomping ground, if you want a center-left candidate to vote for, well what the fuck write me in.

Here's my platform:

• I support a woman's choice to her own body and health.
• I will let teachers teach without interference from politicians and censors.
• I will raise taxes on billionaires because let's be honest they're the only ones who can afford to pay taxes anymore.
• I support universal background checks on ALL gun sales, I support a ban on ALL assault rifles, I support all laws to prevent angry guys getting any access to a gun as a means to reduce domestic violence.
• I will fight to get nurses and teachers paid like baseball players.
• I support any immigration reform that makes it easier for law-abiding families to enter the U.S. on work plans and become citizens like my ancestors did.
• I will fight to reduce the high costs of rent.
• I will punish any deejay who talks over the last 30 seconds of Pat Benatar's "Love Is a Battlefield." You bastards, when the whistling starts is not a cue to start blabbing. The song's not over yet!
• I will push for clean water and clean air laws to help Florida and the nation be balanced with our nature, and make it safe to live here.
• I will fight for election laws that will end gerrymandering, that will promote voter rights without interference from suppression, and will ensure that the majority of people will get the representation that truly reflects their needs.
• I support all law enforcement reforms that will de-escalate situations to reduce police brutality and ensure all our civil rights are upheld.
• I will serve the public trust for both Florida and the nation.

There you go. That's me.

I know this is late, just days before the midterms election itself. But goddammit, someone's got to stand up for this district and for Florida.

And the good news, I won't spam you fifty times a day begging for campaign funds!

So if you're between Lakeland to Palmdale and Lakeport, between Mulberry to Sebring, if you wanna test your handwriting, write in Paul Wartenberg for the 18th Congressional!

...

Yes, I will be surprised if you all spell my last name correctly.