Usually on August 12, I like to honor the memory of the one and only Norton I, Emperor of the United States and (Oft-times) Protector of Mexico.
It's because on this day back in 1869, Norton issued one of his more famous decrees abolishing political parties due to the strife they brought to the nation:
Norton I., Dea Gratia, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, Being desirous of allaying the dissensions of party strife now existing within our realm, I do hereby dissolve and abolish the Democratic and Republican parties, and also do hereby decree the disfranchisement and imprisonment, for not more than ten nor less than five years, to all persons leading to any violation of this our imperial decree. - San Francisco Herald
Today, it's a little hard to be thoughtful about our long-departed Emperor due to all of the current strife caused by one party in particular (cough Far Right Republicans cough), except the more I thought about it, the more I realize I can compare Emperor Norton against the would-be king of MAGA, donald effing trump.
The comparisons start off relatively easy.
Joshua Abraham Norton was a Jewish immigrant from South Africa who traveled to San Francisco by 1849 to start up business ventures as the newly-made US territory (later state) of California offered much as people swarmed in for opportunities. Starting up with some moderate wealth inherited from his parents just as the Gold Rush kicked off, he invested in real estate and commodities to improve his finances. By 1959 he was a wealthy landowner with investments everywhere, reportedly one of San Francisco's richest men, but then he risked it all in an attempt to corner the rice market. He bought a shipment of rice while a famine in China cut off a main diet staple for the growing Chinese population in California, and hoped the value of that stock would go up to turn a profit. Unfortunately for him, more shipments from Peru glutted the market and made his rice worthless. The losses destroyed his investments and he was forced into bankruptcy.
donald john trump is a New York-born American raised into wealth with a father who invested heavily in real estate, making donald a millionaire by the time he left college. Except that donald kept wasting his money and borrowing more off of his own father to inflate his own worth. His business empire ranged from own his own properties towards other investments and various marketing schemes. trump famously started up a number of casinos, only to drive each one into bankruptcy. trump attempted other business ventures, ranging from an airline to owning a sports team with a fledging football league (USFL) to a self-branded online university... all of which were financial disasters due to trump's own foolishness, forced into bankruptcy, and pleaded out in civil courts. (I still hold a personal grudge against trump for killing the USFL back in the 1980s) Amazingly, none of the bankruptcies stopped trump in his tracks, as he shook off each failure and moved onto another venture to disguise the destruction he left in his wake.
In 1860, facing destitution and ruin, Norton began going to the local newspapers to issue decrees, starting off first that he was proclaimed by popular acclaim as "Emperor of the United States" and called upon to end the then-fractious buildup to the Civil War between North and South. Since the newspapers had nothing else to fill their pages, one of the editors decided to run the decree... and quickly found the locals would buy up issues to read Norton's latest proclamations. So they printed more, and for the newspapers that didn't get his decrees they cheated and forged their own (and because journalists were lousy with English, you could spot the fake decrees with their poor spelling and grammar). Soon, Norton's decrees - noted for their sagacity and focus on improving public works - were published across the United States, making him a household name. And when train travel improved by the 1870s to where Americans could go on vacation to San Francisco, he became one of the first celebrity attractions.
By the 1980s, donald trump started playing up to the local press, hounding the New York papers with flattering portrayals of himself as a successful businessman. The local papers would usually put his stuff in the gossip sections, or allow them to run because his political and financial (and racist) views drew controversy (and readership). He hired a ghost writer to pen "his" book The Art of the Deal, which became his big marketing draw, and displayed his knack for self-promotion. He used that self-promotion by 2004 to talk others into making a "reality" television show called The Apprentice about himself posing as a decisive businessman, which inflated his media presence a thousand-fold. Once he achieved this, he took up his interests in politics - primarily after President Obama humiliated him on national television - to run as a Presidential candidate by 2016, during which his vulgar behavior won over the rabid voting base of the Republican Party. trump actually lost the Presidential popular vote but due to the archaic and broken nature of the Electoral College he won that, making him President of the United States.
During his tenure as Emperor, Norton I would inspect the city where he lived, write decrees asking the citizenry to invest in various engineering marvels to improve transit. Norton would ask for "taxes" paid by the local businesses, but he kept a strict book and never harassed the locals for more than their allotted fifty cents (which was the price of a good meal at hotels and bars in those days). He called for an international gathering of nations to form a permanent assembly of ambassadors to promote world peace (a precursor to the League of Nations/United Nations). He was known to visit the Academy of Sciences to speak at lectures. He famously argued for a bridge to be built between Oakland and San Francisco (not the Golden Gate), which eventually was built the way Norton envisioned. Legends would crop up about Norton's actions: One story had him turn away an angry anti-Chinese mob by simply standing in their way and reciting the Lord's Prayer until they turned away in shame.
During his tenure as President, trump would travel frequently to his own resorts and golf courses, forcing the federal government to spend millions in Secret Service details and other gaudy expenses, in open violation of the Constitution's Emoluments Clause. he openly expressed disdain at international treaties, and regularly issued tariff wars that disrupted trade. trump insisted on building a billions-dollar border wall to stop illegal immigrants from entering the nation, and instructed agencies to promote a brutal family separation policy in an attempt to hurt immigrant children. he would insist on getting the best treatment and then never paying for it. trump showed little interest in anything scientific, other than expressing a belief that nuclear weapons could stop hurricanes. trump mocked our foreign allies and pandered happily to foreign dictators who were in opposition to American interests overseas.
Emperor Norton printed his own scrip (private bonds) which businesses in San Francisco would accept as legal currency. Any scrip that has survived to this day are treated as valued collectibles.
trump could have printed himself $1 million bills if he thought the Treasury Department and Congress would let him do it. I'm actually a little surprised he never even tried that.
In 1867, a local patrolman (private security, think "mall cop") at a hotel accused him of being a vagrant for hanging around too long in a lobby area, and dragged him into the police station. When the policeman on duty pointed out Norton had a known address and enough money in his pocket to pay for a meal and a room if he desired, the patrolman argued changing the charge from vagrancy to "having a mental disorder." The public outrage was swift as the city rose to defend their local eccentric. The chief of police let Norton go with an apology and said "Mister Norton had shed no blood, robbed no one, and despoiled no country; which is more than can be said of his fellows in the King line."
By 2020, donald trump had demonstrated to enough people that he was mentally unstable at best for the King business he had bullied and bluffed his way into. When protests over racial injustice rose up, he would call on violent crackdowns. When he needed to clear out a protest in front the White House, he had the police shoot tear gas and rubber bullets at the crowd so he could walk across the park to a nearby church and pose for a disastrous photo op. trump betrayed some of our allies in the Middle East so he could pander to others for personal gain. trump attempted to force Ukraine into lying about trump's political opponents by cutting off military aid Ukraine would need in the near future to defend themselves from Russian invasion. trump gave up on Afghanistan and staged our military withdrawal to make his successor Biden suffer the consequences. When trump failed to bluff and lie his way into overturning the 2020 election results, he called on his mob of followers to riot on Capitol Hill itself to disrupt it in a brazen attempt to hold onto power he didn't earn. Mister trump was responsible for shedding blood, robbing even his own followers, and despoiled countries through inaction and betrayal.
By every metric of leadership and basic human decency, Norton would have been a far better Emperor of the United States than trump ever was as failed President. And yet, we're supposed to think Norton was the madman. Compared to the eternal Shitgibbon, Norton was sane.
Oh, and one last comparison: Emperor Norton I never sold out the United States' national security secrets to foreign powers the way donald trump is trying to.
Three huzzahs for Joshua Norton, First Of His Name, Builder of Bridges, Owner of Nice Hats, and Erudite Blogger of His Era.
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